"I was going to start by saying our FLR began about two years ago but in truth it probably began when Susan and I first started dating over five years ago, because I knew from the start that not only was she ‘the one for me’ but also that she was so much better than me in many respects. At the time, she was studying to become a qualified accountant while I was starting my career in academia as a college lecturer. She had a different kind of intelligence from mine, more analytical and more thorough. She was also much better at summing up a situation and then making a decision whereas I would spend days, weeks even, weighing the different options and then I’d still find it difficult to come to a conclusion.
However, although we were quite different in many respects, we shared a lot of the same views on the world and life and we always felt very comfortable with each other. So it wasn’t very long before we decided to get married and set up home together. We started with the usual patriarchal model for our relationship because that was what was expected of us, but even then I recognized that it made sense, given her occupation, to manage the family finances and if we had to engage builders to do some work on the house, for example, it was usually Susan that managed them. Nonetheless, whenever there was a form to fill in asking who was the head of the household, we would both always enter my name. So, we followed the usual path and a sort of routine was established that she did most of the household chores and still managed to progress in her career, while I worked long hours to further my career with only rather mediocre results.
Susan always had a high sex drive but in the early days that wasn’t an issue because, being a young man in love with my wife, my own sex drive was pretty high too. Once she’d qualified and we felt we were financially pretty secure, we decided to start a family and in the space of not much more than a couple of years we had two happy healthy babies. It was after the birth of our second child that Susan suffered several months of depression during which the physical side of our marriage became almost non-existent but I tried to understand the problems she was having and as well as taking on more of the household tasks, I tried to give her some space and time to recover her spirits. I suppose it was during this period that my own libido dipped.
Eventually Susan came out of her depression and quite suddenly her sex drive recovered and seemed to become more powerful than ever and I was finding it difficult to keep up with her. For several months, things became quite difficult between us and she became a bit irritable and impatient with my tendency to put things off and prevaricate. In retrospect, I’m sure that sexual frustration played a substantial part in this. Around this time, one of her friends lent her a couple of books by Marisa Rudder, ‘Love and Obey’ and ‘Real Men Worship Women’ and these had a significant impact on her thinking and soon after on our relationship.
She asked me to read them as well and then said she’d like to discuss the concepts that Ms Rudder was promoting. I think it gave her a framework within which to look at her own ideas about female superiority and how, by accepting it and acknowledging it, we could transform our relationship into something that would make us both happier. As I’ve said, I’d always recognized that Susan was far better at many things than I was and particularly her management and organizing skills. Knowing, too, that she had become unhappy and frustrated, I happily went along with the suggestion that we try a Female Led Relationship to see how it went. We didn’t immediately change everything but gradually introduced features of a FLR, but the foundation that was laid down from the start was that she took the lead and that her happiness came first (for a change! as she would say), on the basis of ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life’.
To begin with, we changed the balance of responsibilities around the house and with the children. Given that Susan had greater earning potential than me if she could devote more time to her job, I agreed to take on most of the jobs around the house while the childcare was shared out 50-50. Because she was so well organized, she would draw up a weekly schedule of tasks which then I, for the most part, was responsible for implementing, while she would ask for updates and send reminders. I suddenly felt rather like a servant but I couldn’t deny that everything ran much more smoothly and efficiently.
Having got the household and childcare running smoothly, she then turned her attention to our sexual relations. I’d been afraid she would raise this at some point and did feel quite anxious that I wasn’t providing her with sufficient pleasure and stimulation. However, I hadn’t at all reckoned on what she would suggest, which was that she wanted to have the freedom to have other partners. I have to confess that I was really upset at first thinking this was perhaps the first step towards separation and divorce. But she was happy to reassure me on that point and said that she simply wanted more than I was able to provide. I then wondered whether this had been the ultimate aim of setting a FLR all along, even though there was no mention of it in the books we’d read. [At that point Ms. Rudder’s book ‘Cuckolding’ hadn’t yet been published]. Susan insisted, however, that it was perfectly consistent with the principle of prioritizing female happiness. Besides, as she pointed out, there was no point in trying to ignore the issue and hope it will go away; much better to face up to it and try to deal with it in a sensible and grown-up way. Eventually, she persuaded me that it would be good for both of us by providing her with greater sexual gratification while stimulating my own libido through a bit of healthy competition! Finally, I agreed, even though quite reluctantly, because it didn’t seem fair to deny her what she clearly needed to be happy.
Over the following several months, Susan dated several men, some through internet dating sites, some as men she met indirectly through work, and although my pride was hurt at first, I could see how much she enjoyed and benefited from the attention of other men. I wasn’t quite sure whether it was actually the sex or the flirting and sense of anticipation when she was getting ready to go out on a date, but in any case, her confidence and self-assurance grew and she became ever more comfortable with her leadership role in our relationship, which she always insisted was the most important thing in her life. I could only watch and admire her development. Nonetheless, my conventional upbringing meant I still had pangs of jealousy from time to time, the more so after she formed a more settled, longer-term relationship with a new boyfriend about a year ago. Then in early summer, Marisa Rudder released her new book on ‘Cuckolding’ which both of us read immediately and which taught me, in particular, a great deal including the fact that cuckolding was in fact far from uncommon and that many couples were increasingly drawn to that lifestyle and finally that, so long as it was handled properly and the husband recognized his wife’s sexual superiority and needs, then it could actually bring them closer together and strengthen their marriage. When I’d read the book, it felt as though a burden of expectation had been lifted from my shoulders. I could at last relax and accept the situation. With the pressure to perform taken off me, I could concentrate on simply making sure Susan was happy and contented and our own sexual relationship was mutually satisfying. To that end Susan also suggested that I read another of Ms Rudder’s books called ‘Oral Sex for Women’ which I found fascinating as I realized that until then I had had so little real and detailed knowledge of women’s anatomy (despite fathering two children!) or their sexual preferences. Needless to say, Susan likes to give me plenty of opportunity to develop my skills in that regard.
So, how has a Female Led Relationship worked out for us? I know that my happiness is tied inextricably to Susan’s and that having her take the lead in our relationship has meant greater levels of contentment for both of us. I recognize that she is superior to me in many ways and so it’s surely sensible for her to be the decision-maker and leader in our marriage and for me to provide her with whatever support I can. But what about the ‘cuckolding’? I’ve read comments on some social media sites that suggest if one partner has the right to have sex outside the relationship, then the other should have the same freedom, but I’ve never felt the need for other women. I can’t speak for all couples, but I know that Susan has a much higher sex drive than I have and while she can always provide me with all the sexual pleasure I need, she needs more stimulation and gratification than I can provide for her. So, it seems to me that, if one can get rid of old conventional ways of thinking, then cuckolding is a sensible and healthy way to address an imbalance of libidos between a wife and her husband. In any case, it has certainly made our sex life more interesting and it seems Susan was right that my own sex drive has increased as a result of the competition. She once said to me, only half in jest, that I should treat her as a goddess and her vulva as a temple at which more than one can worship. I think that sums up my thinking nowadays."
Thank you for everything,
Michael & Susan
Greetings Queen Marisa from Istanbul, Turkey,
We are a couple. He is, Ilyas, 45 years old and I am, Fulya, 35 years old. From the first day we met, there was always a power struggle between Ilyas and I. Before we met, we were both dominant characters in our separate lives, and in the beginning of our relationship we were constantly fighting and struggling to see who would be in charge. I found your books online and I ordered Love & Obey and Real Men Worship Women. After reading Love & Obey, I finally told Ilyas that this relationship will not work out for us with this constant fighting and power struggle. I told him that I want to live in a female led relationship and that he had to give up his dominant attitude.
I made Ilyas read Real Men Worship Women. Once he did, his mind was opened up to a female led lifestyle. I told him that he must recognize me as his superior, he must submit himself to my dominant female authority. He accepted his submission to me because he loved me and didn't want to lose me. From that time forward, I took control of our relationship. He was no longer arguing or disobeying my commands. Today, he obeys every word I say. Occasionally, when he did disrespect or disobey me, I started to punish him. He is punished whenever his behavior does not satisfy me. I read your book Spanking and learned about disciplining men. Sometimes his beatings are severe, because I am physically stronger than him. But believe me, whenever he receives a serious beating, he deserves it. We do not see the Love & Obey female led way of life as fantasy. As we now read your new book Turning Point, responsibility in all areas is now mine and he is my obedient male servant. He quit his job because I didn't want him to work. I wanted him to devote all his time to serving me and caring for our home. He does all the housework. After reading your book Cuckolding, I have also started cuckolding him now. I have a rich, dominant and powerful lover (Bull). He helps me meet all of our needs for money, livelihood and, of course, my luxury. I am now working successfully in my lover's company, and he pays me very well. All responsibilities, including paying the bills, belong to me. Ilyas is also very happy. He says he is very relieved that he has no responsibility. I rarely have sex with him anymore, but he's not complaining. Ilyas is amazing when it comes to oral sex, so now oral sex is the only sex I have with Ilyas. I enjoy penetrative sex only with my bull. Since our relationship in a female led life has now reached a very advanced level. I suggest to new people that they need to read your entire series of female led relationship books and must live this lifestyle for a while before they even consider moving to the level we now live. But I can say your Love & Obey Female Led Relationship Book Series are the “holy books” of the female led lifestyle. Some people love our lifestyle, other people don’t agree with us at all, but Ilyas and I are both happy. I am his superior and he knows it, so he is happy with my loving authority over him and his life as my male servant.
Thank you Queen Marisa for showing us the way.
Fulya (and Ilyas)